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So you’ve spotted her and you know she’s single! You’ve been reading Sex and the Universe and studying the Laws of Attraction so you know the next part is action and that is up to you! However, creativity wins points and, as long as it’s genuine, can be very effective. Where to start?
1. Use what you know about her to set up the first date. Did she spend a semester studying in Europe (France or Spain) and has mentioned it? Find the most authentic French or Spanish restaurant possible and take her there. Or if she has a favorite author that is speaking nearby, invite her to that. Which leads me to…
2. Use the element of surprise. If you know for sure and you are willing to take the chance, every woman dreams of someone showing up with tickets and inviting them somewhere special.
3. Pick something small. A simple coffee or invite for ice cream the first time can be less intimidating than concert tickets.
4. If you are worried about small talk, a movie and dessert is great (less talk involved the first time and you always have the movie to discuss).
5. However, if you know more about her and are comfortable hanging out and chatting, head to the park, a bookstore or for a nice drive for a picnic (yes, you are in charge of packing it).
6. Use your pets! If you both have dogs, ask her if she wants to walk them or go to the dog park with you.
7. Suggest attending a class or workshop together.
8. Be playful (amusement parks-if you you have the stomach for it-are fun
9. Comedy clubs get you laughing and the adrenaline running. Just be aware of who the comedian is and that they aren’t embarrassingly crude for a first date!
10. Something physical and no, I don’t mean that! Hiking, biking, climbing, or something like windsurfing is exciting.
I love true stories from people who have used the Law of Attraction to attract what they wanted (or sometimes what they did not because they weren’t using it consciously!). These people often start off as skeptics like me, and yet they ended up with irrefutable proof of the power of the Universe in reaping what they focused on. I just finished a great book of LOA tips and stories called Life Lessons for Mastering the Law of Attraction. I will say it is missing great tips on finding love so some time spent reading Sex and the Universe is definitely a worthwhile endeavor!
The book is part of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and is a basic “how to” guide for the Law of Attraction coupled with some pretty intriguing anecdotes on a variety of experiences using LOA. Some of the writers stumbled upon the laws accidentally, some had been familiar for years but had just not considered using them for their current situation. Many of the stories are “last chance” stories…the writers had nothing to lose by trying the laws to heal their current situations. A great story by Amy Scott Grant called “The Day I Ran Out of Money” is one of the brilliant examples of how the universe provides, and has always, and always will!
Again, there is far more focus on money, business and career than love in the book, but it is still awe inspiring and should be a part of your Law of Attraction library! (You have one, right?)
I came across a Twitter tweet from Sam Crowley that said “Saturday night is always date night for Mr. and Mrs. Crowley. Off to our favorite restaurant.” If you don’t know what a Twitter tweet is, please go here. If you do already, read on! We talk a lot here at our Sex and the Universe blog about finding, but also keeping love and this tweet struck me as both very sweet and very important. When you use the Law of Attraction, or if you already have, to find the love of your life, you must invest an equal amount of time, if not more, in letting your mate know how much you care and how important they are. “Date night”, especially when you have children and busy careers, is one way to really share this message, but what are some others?
One of the first things to go in long-term relationships seems to be common courtesy. It gets awfully easy to be lazy and not treat your loved one as a dear friend, at minimum. I have a friend who says that having her husband bring in a cup of coffee each morning while she is trying to wake up is one of the smallest and yet most important ways that he says “I love you”. It starts her day off feeling cared for! One busy wife always cooks Sunday morning breakfast and she and her husband share it in bed, no kids! They’ve done this since they were first married. Do you still say please and thank you? Do you leave a fresh towel in the bathroom if you’ve used the last one (or another roll of toilet paper)? Do you let your lover sleep in while you let the pets out first thing in the morning? These are all examples of common courtesies that go a very long way towards building a strong and lasting relationship.
Another category is the element of surprise! Are you ever waiting for your honey when they get off of work to surprise them with a dinner out or concert tickets? Are you actively (though not cloyingly) observing the things your partner loves or dreams of? Part of loving someone is trying to help make their dreams come true. What dreams are you helping with? They can be small…if your boyfriend is working really hard, sneak in and clean up for them a bit or take the car to the car wash. The list is endless.
Regardless, this is a lifelong endeavor as Mr. and Mrs. Crowley have indicated. Yes, the Law of Attraction helps draw and keep your lover but you have to commit to the daily work as well. I’d love to hear what you do to keep your love alive (or what you’ve witnessed others do?)!
Need some help? This is a great hypnosis style video for visualizing what you want (a new partner?) to manifest. If you have any suggestions for other videos like this, let me know! And be sure to let me know what you think about the video and if it was helpful to you…
If you are looking for a great book on managing your physical health, Oprah’s doc (Dr. Oz) has co-authored a best selling guide not to just fitness and nutrition but understanding how our bodies work. The book is subtitled:An Insider’s Guide to the Body that Will Make You Healthier and Younger and we all want that, right? When you are seeking the love of your life, you need to work towards improving your healt. You want a healthy partner and they deserve the same.
You: The Owner’s Manual takes you on a full tour of the body with a discussion of each system, how disease starts, what small lifestyle changes you can make to prevent disease, encourages you to start adding in exercise (no surprise here!) and how to assess your diet to make improvement. Readers love it! It is funny and informative and should probably sit on everyone’s book shelf as a reference guide. If you are “starting over” in your quest to find your soul mate, add this important read to Sex and the Universe as a way to get you jump started towards love (and health)!
Many of us have been devastated by a painful divorce. At a certain age, you’ve got about a 50% chance of that being part of your history. I know. I’ve been there. I sat stuck in the mire for awhile (which is a healthy stage) and then I started investigating ways to move on. I found the Law of Attraction during this time and decided that I wanted real, authentic love back in my life. But there are some things you can do to make your transition to your new life easier.
Give yourself time to grieve. Grief has no shelf life but mental health therapists say you can take the time to grieve post trauma or grief will track you down later. Give yourself the time you need to cry, sleep, suffer. This is part of the human condition. Feel free to find a therapist to help you sort through this time and to ensure that you haven’t slipped into a real depression.
Remember it takes two people to cause a marriage to fail. Don’t pull all of the guilt and shame of its demise onto yourself. Realize that just because this (or several) relationships have failed you are not sentenced to a lifetime without love! I’m here to teach you the Law of Attraction tools to reinvent yourself AND to find your real soul mate.
Be sure to focus on the good times you have in the marriage. Its end doesn’t mean those times were false. Celebrate what you had together (perhaps children?).
Plan a private (or public) ceremony of some kind that signifies that this phase of your life is over and you are ready to rise up and conquer! We have ceremonies for so many things, happy and sad, yet no real event accompanies the end of a marriage. Make it positive! While you are rebuilding your life read books like How to Survive the Loss of a Love and Sex and the Universe to help you move forward!
Sure there is a lot of focus on Viagra and Cialis for men and it is true that some men (not me, of course) suffer from some, hmmmm, issues as they get older. But the drugs do tend to work and men AND women over 40 are reporting that their sex lives have actually improved as they’ve aged! A new book by Oprah’s reigning sexologist called Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love and the Sensual Years became a rapid bestseller after the author, Pepper Schwartz, appeared on Oprah with other older women (50’s, 60’s and older) discussing their great sex lives!
A global study of 27.000 men and women ages 40-80 and the results are not surprising to me one bit! Most older adults in good health are having plenty of great sex-73% of those aged 57-64 and 53% of those 65-74! And they are enjoying it more. One of the really profound things that Ms. Schwartz said about dating over 40 is that as you age you start taking rejection less personally and you just move on! She also offer some other tips:
Don’t be afraid of online dating!
Take care of your appearance and keep your mojo up!
Remember to keep your sense of humor up and look for fun and companionship with someone warm and caring. They COULD turn out to be your senior soulmate!
Believe that you are valuable and sexy (can you see Law of Attraction) because you are!
For more fun advice for finding that life partner (or friend with benefits), be sure to check the ebook. Let me know your thoughts and advice on dating over 40 below!
This post is especially for those of you who have been out of the “dating game” for awhile. Maybe you lost a spouse to illness or you went through a painful divorce. Perhaps you spent a long time with someone and they simply broke your heart. You look around and you are quite simply afraid and unsure of how to meet people, how to date, and don’t even mention sex! I know. I’ve been there myself. I met Jillian after a difficult divorce and I did many things wrong before I started doing things right. You have my understanding.
I titled this post “overcoming fear of failure” but I realize that you won’t actually overcome it. You’ll act in spite of it! By following many of the steps in Sex and the Universe, you will gain new confidence as you gain health, get your home in order and learn to trust that the Law of Attraction is bringing you what you focus on. But there is still that moment when you have to make that call.
A few suggestions? Try online dating. The joy of online dating is that you know already that people are looking for the same thing you are. You can see them (though, be warned, photos are often old or doctored so keep personality in mind more than the photos), talk to them in advance and have an understanding about what you are both looking for. Take it casually! Don’t go into every meeting going “is this the one?!?!” Treat it like a party where you are simply mingling and getting to know people. When there is a mutual interest, you will know. Use caution (don’t go to anyone’s house, meet in public places, keep the first meeting short).
Also try meeting people through activities that you already love…whether this is snorkeling or book collecting, dog breeding or gardening. Attending these types of activities is safe because there is a built in topic to discuss. There are also longer trips organized around these types of events so you can really bond with a group. Worst case scenario? You have the chance to meet new friends.
Try to take the pressure off yourself. If you keep working the steps in the book, using visualization, creating a space in your home for your new partner, and learning to love yourself more, the Universe IS cooperating…you may not see it every time you meet someone new. Relax, live life! Your soul mate is on their way!
Drinking coffee and listening to music when this tune popped up. The chorus struck me: “To find someone you love, you gotta be someone you love!” How appropriate is that to our ongoing discussion about finding your soul mate. I had to share it! Learning to love yourself is tricky business, but as with all things in the Universe, if we focus our attention on the positive, we attract more good and positive experiences. Don’t you want a partner who feels good about who they are? Why should your partner want anything different?
Treat yourself as if you were a good friend. If you are sick, show care. If you are sad, show care. Cheer yourself up the best you can with a good meal, a great movie, a nice walk.
Focus on your accomplishments. Make a list of everything good that you have done in your life (this should take time). Maybe write down a few things every day to build up the list that encompasses your life. Remember when you cared for someone or you were praised at work? Write it down.
Create a “tickle” file. When someone says something nice about you or you get a nice card from someone, toss it in the file. Reference letters from work, thank you cards, emails, all of this can go in to remind yourself of what a great person you really are!
Tell your friends you are trying to love yourself more and ask them to email you what they think you have done for them, what your great qualities are, and why they enjoy your company!
Read my ebook, Sex and the Universe, to learn more ways of using the Law of Attraction to increase your self-esteem and self-love!
Hello all! I’ve just created a basic social network to expand our discussion on Sex and the Universe and I hope you will all stop by and share your thoughts, ideas, stories, and questions! I’m also about to launch on Facebook and I’m on Twitter at sextheuniverse (note: sex AND the universe had too many characters to look for it this way). We’re developing a MySpace page, and I’m on FriendFeed at sexandtheuniverse. Please add to the rosters so you can find out about upcoming events, speaking engagements, and stories from our readers!
Thanks to my blog and book readers! I look forward to hearing from you!
o you’ve spotted her and you know she’s single! You’ve been reading Sex and the Universe and studying the Laws of Attraction so you know the next part is action and that is up to you! However, creativity wins points and, as long as it’s genuine, can be very effective. Where to start?
I came across a 
