sex and the universe

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I came across a Twitter tweet from Sam Crowley that said “Saturday night is always date night for Mr. and Mrs. Crowley. Off to our favorite restaurant.” If you don’t know what a Twitter tweet is, please go here. If you do already, read on! We talk a lot here at our Sex and the Universe blog about finding, but also keeping love and this tweet struck me as both very sweet and very important. When you use the Law of Attraction, or if you already have, to find the love of your life, you must invest an equal amount of time, if not more, in letting your mate know how much you care and how important they are. “Date night”, especially when you have children and busy careers, is one way to really share this message, but what are some others?

One of the first things to go in long-term relationships seems to be common courtesy. It gets awfully easy to be lazy and not treat your loved one as a dear friend, at minimum. I have a friend who says that having her husband bring in a cup of coffee each morning while she is trying to wake up is one of the smallest and yet most important ways that he says “I love you”. It starts her day off feeling cared for! One busy wife always cooks Sunday morning breakfast and she and her husband share it in bed, no kids! They’ve done this since they were first married. Do you still say please and thank you? Do you leave a fresh towel in the bathroom if you’ve used the last one (or another roll of toilet paper)? Do you let your lover sleep in while you let the pets out first thing in the morning? These are all examples of common courtesies that go a very long way towards building a strong and lasting relationship.

Another category is the element of surprise! Are you ever waiting for your honey when they get off of work to surprise them with a dinner out or concert tickets? Are you actively (though not cloyingly) observing the things your partner loves or dreams of? Part of loving someone is trying to help make their dreams come true. What dreams are you helping with? They can be small…if your boyfriend is working really hard, sneak in and clean up for them a bit or take the car to the car wash. The list is endless.

Regardless, this is a lifelong endeavor as Mr. and Mrs. Crowley have indicated. Yes, the Law of Attraction helps draw and keep your lover but you have to commit to the daily work as well. I’d love to hear what you do to keep your love alive (or what you’ve witnessed others do?)!

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This post is especially for those of you who have been out of the “dating game” for awhile. Maybe you lost a spouse to illness or you went through a painful divorce. Perhaps you spent a long time with someone and they simply broke your heart. You look around and you are quite simply afraid and unsure of how to meet people, how to date, and don’t even mention sex! I know. I’ve been there myself. I met Jillian after a difficult divorce and I did many things wrong before I started doing things right. You have my understanding.

I titled this post “overcoming fear of failure” but I realize that you won’t actually overcome it. You’ll act in spite of it! By following many of the steps in Sex and the Universe, you will gain new confidence as you gain health, get your home in order and learn to trust that the Law of Attraction is bringing you what you focus on. But there is still that moment when you have to make that call.

A few suggestions? Try online dating. The joy of online dating is that you know already that people are looking for the same thing you are. You can see them (though, be warned, photos are often old or doctored so keep personality in mind more than the photos), talk to them in advance and have an understanding about what you are both looking for. Take it casually! Don’t go into every meeting going “is this the one?!?!” Treat it like a party where you are simply mingling and getting to know people. When there is a mutual interest, you will know. Use caution (don’t go to anyone’s house, meet in public places, keep the first meeting short).

Also try meeting people through activities that you already love…whether this is snorkeling or book collecting, dog breeding or gardening. Attending these types of activities is safe because there is a built in topic to discuss. There are also longer trips organized around these types of events so you can really bond with a group. Worst case scenario? You have the chance to meet new friends.

Try to take the pressure off yourself. If you keep working the steps in the book, using visualization, creating a space in your home for your new partner, and learning to love yourself more, the Universe IS cooperating…you may not see it every time you meet someone new. Relax, live life! Your soul mate is on their way!

I’ve spoken before about creating a dream board to help you manifest what you want in your life including your soul mate, utilizing the Law of Attraction and my ebook, Sex and the Universe. I found a great video (there are actually several examples on YouTube) of making one and thought you would enjoy!

A vision board is a very powerful thing. Pam, in the video, will talk about just being pulled towards certain images and not knowing why. Perhaps you see a photo of a man in argyle socks and you’ve never really felt anything about argyle socks but this photo does something to you. Cut it out! You are drawn there for a reason. Add powerful phrases and quotes as well. It’s all in the video and definitely worth your time!

Enjoy and let me know what you think below!

I reference this great ebook a great deal here on the blog. I am driven with the desire to help everyone find what I have found: true love! The information in the book is the result of my life experience and my interviews of other people who have utilized the Law of Attraction to attract their soul mate. I did extensive research to develop the easy, usable tools in the book. I start off with a basic education on the Laws of Attraction, how and why they work. And trust me, they do! The difference, though, between what I do and what others have done in sharing these ancient techniques with the world is to really focus on what you can do RIGHT NOW to start attracting LOVE.

The book is very action oriented! The LOA will only work if you take the “next steps” required to find love. Changing your thinking, your words, and being grateful for what the Universe has already delivered are tremendously important, but unless you DO SOMETHING, nothing will happen. Doing the steps send a message that is stronger than thoughts or words to the Universe and, as you go into action, it will as well! So, as one chapter says, Get Off the Couch! Now!

Much of the book is devoted to building love and joy about yourself, your life, your accomplishments. I want you to feel revitalized before your new love arrives! This energy that you exude goes out into the world and increases your power in utilizing the Laws. I discuss health and fitness, making a space in your home for that new love, and putting yourself out into the world. Then once you and your soul mate have met, how do you sustain that “love rush” as you establish a solid, long-term relationship? I’ll help you answer that, both in the book and here on the blog.

So head on over to the site and check it out. You will receive a free audio of my discussing the Law of Attraction and what you can expect to gain by following this program! Once you’ve started experiencing what your heart truly desires, leave me a comment and tell me about it here on the blog!

Feng shui is an ancient Chinese tradition that shares some traits with the Law of Attraction. They both utilize univeral laws to increase positive energy (in Chinese this energy is Qi, prounced “chi”). The practice of feng shui today is to help individuals and organizations structure their physical selves and homes in a way so that positive energy can more easily flow. See the correlation? Exciting stuff, huh? We discuss clutter and how it blocks your positive energy on this blog and in my ebook Sex and the Universe. Let’s see how feng shui can help us do this more effectively…

Feng shui can be seen as “thoughtful placement” per Karen Rauch Carter, author of “Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life“. To utilize the principles of feng shui effectively, it helps to know what you want! In this case, it’s pretty clear you want to attract love into your life and there are feng shui steps to doing so! For seeking love you want to focus your attention on overall Qi flow improvement throughout your home, AND focus specific attention on the bedroom.

• De-clutter everywhere. This helps the Qi flow. Pay particular attention to decluttering the bedroom.
• Spruce up. Repaint to renew your space. Replace linens and fix broken items.
• Images of single women or men in paintings or prints should be removed. You want images of happy couples if anything.
• Don’t watch tv in the bedroom. The tv should be removed so that no negative imagery is viewed there.
• Traditional feng shui says you should place natural quartz crystals and red, white and yellow lights in the southwest corner of your bedroom. Hey, give it a try! It can’t hurt!
• The bedroom should be balanced between masculine and feminine styles.
• Rid the bedroom of any and all mementos of past relationships!
• Make sure your bed is large enough, you have two nightstands, and there is room in a closet and the dresser to welcome your new partner.
• Set out things in sets of two: two candles, two ceramic birds, two vases.
• Add in the sensual: massage oils, powders, scent diffusers…and more.

You get the picture, right? All of this sets the universe in motion to give you what you have set the stage for! Books on feng shui compliment Sex and the Universe nicely. Now go get your love Qi flowing!

I spend time in my ebook Sex and the Universe discussing why your date cares about your digs. Let’s explore some great ways to inexpensively improve your dwelling so that there is room for energy to flow through AND so your date won’t flee when they see it!

It is absolutely not necessary to spend a great deal of money to add a little style to your home. Apartment Therapy is a great book and Web site, primarily for those living in smaller spaces but the advice and samples they provide are for everyone.

First and foremost, of course, is a thorough cleaning and discluttering. Peter Walsh is a great expert with lots of tips on this and one of my favorites is the "10 minute Trash Bag Tango". Set the timer on the microwave for 10 minutes, grab a trashbag and start tossing! You can follow this up with another bag for charity. Once the place has lost some of its unnecessary stuff, which is extremely energy draining, a thorough cleaning is in order! If you have really let things go, call in a cleaning service for a one-time redo. Remember to vacuum and wipe down furniture, especially if you have pets.

If you own, or can, a fresh coat of paint is an inexpensive way to brighten a place. Organize collectibles together…don’t spread them around. And if you are no longer enamored with what you used to collect (can we say Beany Babies?), sell or donate them!

Add texture…a nice rug here or there, a beautiful nubby throw on the sofa, a woven decorative pillow. Then check out the lighting. Is there some soft lighting in your home? Do you have enough? Never underestimate the power of candles for romance-they make us all just look better.

Finally, for now, in the bedroom add wonderful new sheets of 250+ thread count and perhaps new pillows or duvet.

You want to design an environment where your future soul mate would want to spend time with you. Not only that but you feel better too, and when you feel better the Law of Attraction operate more fully!