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I came across a Twitter tweet from Sam Crowley that said “Saturday night is always date night for Mr. and Mrs. Crowley. Off to our favorite restaurant.” If you don’t know what a Twitter tweet is, please go here. If you do already, read on! We talk a lot here at our Sex and the Universe blog about finding, but also keeping love and this tweet struck me as both very sweet and very important. When you use the Law of Attraction, or if you already have, to find the love of your life, you must invest an equal amount of time, if not more, in letting your mate know how much you care and how important they are. “Date night”, especially when you have children and busy careers, is one way to really share this message, but what are some others?
One of the first things to go in long-term relationships seems to be common courtesy. It gets awfully easy to be lazy and not treat your loved one as a dear friend, at minimum. I have a friend who says that having her husband bring in a cup of coffee each morning while she is trying to wake up is one of the smallest and yet most important ways that he says “I love you”. It starts her day off feeling cared for! One busy wife always cooks Sunday morning breakfast and she and her husband share it in bed, no kids! They’ve done this since they were first married. Do you still say please and thank you? Do you leave a fresh towel in the bathroom if you’ve used the last one (or another roll of toilet paper)? Do you let your lover sleep in while you let the pets out first thing in the morning? These are all examples of common courtesies that go a very long way towards building a strong and lasting relationship.
Another category is the element of surprise! Are you ever waiting for your honey when they get off of work to surprise them with a dinner out or concert tickets? Are you actively (though not cloyingly) observing the things your partner loves or dreams of? Part of loving someone is trying to help make their dreams come true. What dreams are you helping with? They can be small…if your boyfriend is working really hard, sneak in and clean up for them a bit or take the car to the car wash. The list is endless.
Regardless, this is a lifelong endeavor as Mr. and Mrs. Crowley have indicated. Yes, the Law of Attraction helps draw and keep your lover but you have to commit to the daily work as well. I’d love to hear what you do to keep your love alive (or what you’ve witnessed others do?)!
Many of us have been devastated by a painful divorce. At a certain age, you’ve got about a 50% chance of that being part of your history. I know. I’ve been there. I sat stuck in the mire for awhile (which is a healthy stage) and then I started investigating ways to move on. I found the Law of Attraction during this time and decided that I wanted real, authentic love back in my life. But there are some things you can do to make your transition to your new life easier.
Give yourself time to grieve. Grief has no shelf life but mental health therapists say you can take the time to grieve post trauma or grief will track you down later. Give yourself the time you need to cry, sleep, suffer. This is part of the human condition. Feel free to find a therapist to help you sort through this time and to ensure that you haven’t slipped into a real depression.
Remember it takes two people to cause a marriage to fail. Don’t pull all of the guilt and shame of its demise onto yourself. Realize that just because this (or several) relationships have failed you are not sentenced to a lifetime without love! I’m here to teach you the Law of Attraction tools to reinvent yourself AND to find your real soul mate.
Be sure to focus on the good times you have in the marriage. Its end doesn’t mean those times were false. Celebrate what you had together (perhaps children?).
Plan a private (or public) ceremony of some kind that signifies that this phase of your life is over and you are ready to rise up and conquer! We have ceremonies for so many things, happy and sad, yet no real event accompanies the end of a marriage. Make it positive! While you are rebuilding your life read books like How to Survive the Loss of a Love and Sex and the Universe to help you move forward!
This post is especially for those of you who have been out of the “dating game” for awhile. Maybe you lost a spouse to illness or you went through a painful divorce. Perhaps you spent a long time with someone and they simply broke your heart. You look around and you are quite simply afraid and unsure of how to meet people, how to date, and don’t even mention sex! I know. I’ve been there myself. I met Jillian after a difficult divorce and I did many things wrong before I started doing things right. You have my understanding.
I titled this post “overcoming fear of failure” but I realize that you won’t actually overcome it. You’ll act in spite of it! By following many of the steps in Sex and the Universe, you will gain new confidence as you gain health, get your home in order and learn to trust that the Law of Attraction is bringing you what you focus on. But there is still that moment when you have to make that call.
A few suggestions? Try online dating. The joy of online dating is that you know already that people are looking for the same thing you are. You can see them (though, be warned, photos are often old or doctored so keep personality in mind more than the photos), talk to them in advance and have an understanding about what you are both looking for. Take it casually! Don’t go into every meeting going “is this the one?!?!” Treat it like a party where you are simply mingling and getting to know people. When there is a mutual interest, you will know. Use caution (don’t go to anyone’s house, meet in public places, keep the first meeting short).
Also try meeting people through activities that you already love…whether this is snorkeling or book collecting, dog breeding or gardening. Attending these types of activities is safe because there is a built in topic to discuss. There are also longer trips organized around these types of events so you can really bond with a group. Worst case scenario? You have the chance to meet new friends.
Try to take the pressure off yourself. If you keep working the steps in the book, using visualization, creating a space in your home for your new partner, and learning to love yourself more, the Universe IS cooperating…you may not see it every time you meet someone new. Relax, live life! Your soul mate is on their way!
I’ve spoken before about creating a dream board to help you manifest what you want in your life including your soul mate, utilizing the Law of Attraction and my ebook, Sex and the Universe. I found a great video (there are actually several examples on YouTube) of making one and thought you would enjoy!
A vision board is a very powerful thing. Pam, in the video, will talk about just being pulled towards certain images and not knowing why. Perhaps you see a photo of a man in argyle socks and you’ve never really felt anything about argyle socks but this photo does something to you. Cut it out! You are drawn there for a reason. Add powerful phrases and quotes as well. It’s all in the video and definitely worth your time!
Feng shui is an ancient Chinese tradition that shares some traits with the Law of Attraction. They both utilize univeral laws to increase positive energy (in Chinese this energy is Qi, prounced “chi”). The practice of feng shui today is to help individuals and organizations structure their physical selves and homes in a way so that positive energy can more easily flow. See the correlation? Exciting stuff, huh? We discuss clutter and how it blocks your positive energy on this blog and in my ebook Sex and the Universe. Let’s see how feng shui can help us do this more effectively…
Feng shui can be seen as “thoughtful placement” per Karen Rauch Carter, author of “Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life“. To utilize the principles of feng shui effectively, it helps to know what you want! In this case, it’s pretty clear you want to attract love into your life and there are feng shui steps to doing so! For seeking love you want to focus your attention on overall Qi flow improvement throughout your home, AND focus specific attention on the bedroom.
De-clutter everywhere. This helps the Qi flow. Pay particular attention to decluttering the bedroom.
Spruce up. Repaint to renew your space. Replace linens and fix broken items.
Images of single women or men in paintings or prints should be removed. You want images of happy couples if anything.
Don’t watch tv in the bedroom. The tv should be removed so that no negative imagery is viewed there.
Traditional feng shui says you should place natural quartz crystals and red, white and yellow lights in the southwest corner of your bedroom. Hey, give it a try! It can’t hurt!
The bedroom should be balanced between masculine and feminine styles.
Rid the bedroom of any and all mementos of past relationships!
Make sure your bed is large enough, you have two nightstands, and there is room in a closet and the dresser to welcome your new partner.
Set out things in sets of two: two candles, two ceramic birds, two vases.
Add in the sensual: massage oils, powders, scent diffusers…and more.
You get the picture, right? All of this sets the universe in motion to give you what you have set the stage for! Books on feng shui compliment Sex and the Universe nicely. Now go get your love Qi flowing!
Aha. She’s arrived. You read the book, you consciously utilized the Law of Attraction, you stayed open and positive and allowed her to show up in your life. Now you want to treat her well and help ensure that this relationship lasts. Are there any things you can do?
One of the best books on building and repairing relationships is The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. What makes it better? They studied marriage and committed partnerships for a positive perspective: what long-term happy couples were doing RIGHT. Here’s part of what they found:
Build your love map. A love map is all the information you store up about your partner: the information about their family, what hurt them as a child, your anniversary, their birthday. These are all various map points and you should know (and try to remember) as many as possible through conversations.
Nurture your fondness and admiration: Put a positive spin on your marriage’s history: don’t focus on the negative (SOUND FAMILIAR???)
Turn towards each other instead of away: Create moments of small connections, chit-chat, cook or do the dishes together, read the Sunday paper together
Let your partner influence you: Consult your partner in decision making, treat them as an ally and, well, partner…
Solve your solvable problems: 70% of a couple’s major problems are not solvable but do NOT have to end relationships. Solve the solvable ones.
Overcome gridlock: the gridlock is the 70% above. These problems can’t be solved, will be a source of friction and discord, but you can create a dialogue around them. Help each other attain the dreams that ARE possible!
Create shared meaning: Create an inner life together, which may be spiritual for some, that includes rituals, creating memories, and developing a marriage “culture”
As you can see, there is some great stuff here. Coupled with my ebook Sex and the Universe, you are well on your way to creating the happy, long-lasting relationship you’ve always dreamt of!
We all know the scenario. You had a rough day at work, or at home with the kids. You didn’t sleep well. The alarm went off soooo early. Your feet hit the floor and you feel, well, miserable. This is a powerful moment of decision! I discuss how our emotions affect our ability to attract love in my ebook Sex and the Universe. If we are miserable, we attract misery. If we are positive, positive events are more likely to be drawn to us. The moment is upon you. What do you do?
Set a schedule. Get to bed consistently and schedule no less than seven hours of sleep. Don’t eat right before bed, read calming material, listen to gentle music, work in your gratitude journal. Learn to transition yourself to sleep through ritual.
Wake to something pleasant. Pick a classical station to awaken to instead of rock music blaring or the chronic buzz of the alarm.
Wake early enough so you have some transition time. Don’t be rushed! Get up in time to have a few leisurely quiet moments to yourself, to eat breakfast and read something inspiring. If you can, sit outside for awhile to listen to the birds wake.
Set a vision and focus for the day. It’s up to you. Things will happen (it’s life, afterall) but your attitude affects your emotional response to these annoyances throughout the day. Focus on calm, peaceful action, compassion to others and the vision of your soul mate being drawn to you.
During one date, just one little date, there is so much information that can be put right out there on the table about each person. Maybe that is why there are so many dates that never result in a second date. Using the Law of Attraction says that you will attract what you are focusing on. Let’s discuss what that means for a minute, wouldn’t that mean that if you think negatively or focus on the negative aspects of your life, you will receive negative things in return. But, if you do the opposite then the opposite will come your way.
Although it may seem quite simple, especially in the world of dating, I assure you it is not as easy as it seems. Almost everyone has had at least one date with someone who was hell bent on every negative part of their life and felt that they needed to share every detail. It doesn’t matter if this person was dripping in sexiness and was nothing short of a ten in the looks category. Looks can really only get you so far and relationships that fall short of real attraction barely ever succeed.
Yep, one date can tell so much about you, how you live, how you work, and often what type of lover you will be too. If you are seeking a relationship and at the same time implementing the Law of Attraction you will be able to only focus on good things, the good parts of dating by just being excited to meet someone new.
Think of some of the negative things that you could say or focus on that might give your date a bad first impression. Now these are things that speak volumes and would not be coming out of your mouth if you were using the Law of Attraction. Talking about past dates at all but especially in a negative manner, how much you dislike your job, whining about getting up early the next day, being cheap, being overly aggressive, etc. Not many girls are going to enjoy this and are going to think that you are cheap and lazy.
You would not be speaking and acting this way if you were focusing on how great it was to be out with someone new, finding out a little about them and what they like to do. Just being grateful for the moments of that evening and that is what will get you a next date card. Think all positive and nothing negative and see how far it is going to get you!
I came across a Twitter tweet from Sam Crowley that said “Saturday night is always date night for Mr. and Mrs. Crowley. Off to our favorite restaurant.” If you don’t know what a Twitter tweet is, please go here. If you do already, read on! We talk a lot here at our Sex and the Universe blog about finding, but also keeping love and this tweet struck me as both very sweet and very important. When you use the Law of Attraction, or if you already have, to find the love of your life, you must invest an equal amount of time, if not more, in letting your mate know how much you care and how important they are. “Date night”, especially when you have children and busy careers, is one way to really share this message, but what are some others? 
