sex and the universe

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I came across a Twitter tweet from Sam Crowley that said “Saturday night is always date night for Mr. and Mrs. Crowley. Off to our favorite restaurant.” If you don’t know what a Twitter tweet is, please go here. If you do already, read on! We talk a lot here at our Sex and the Universe blog about finding, but also keeping love and this tweet struck me as both very sweet and very important. When you use the Law of Attraction, or if you already have, to find the love of your life, you must invest an equal amount of time, if not more, in letting your mate know how much you care and how important they are. “Date night”, especially when you have children and busy careers, is one way to really share this message, but what are some others?

One of the first things to go in long-term relationships seems to be common courtesy. It gets awfully easy to be lazy and not treat your loved one as a dear friend, at minimum. I have a friend who says that having her husband bring in a cup of coffee each morning while she is trying to wake up is one of the smallest and yet most important ways that he says “I love you”. It starts her day off feeling cared for! One busy wife always cooks Sunday morning breakfast and she and her husband share it in bed, no kids! They’ve done this since they were first married. Do you still say please and thank you? Do you leave a fresh towel in the bathroom if you’ve used the last one (or another roll of toilet paper)? Do you let your lover sleep in while you let the pets out first thing in the morning? These are all examples of common courtesies that go a very long way towards building a strong and lasting relationship.

Another category is the element of surprise! Are you ever waiting for your honey when they get off of work to surprise them with a dinner out or concert tickets? Are you actively (though not cloyingly) observing the things your partner loves or dreams of? Part of loving someone is trying to help make their dreams come true. What dreams are you helping with? They can be small…if your boyfriend is working really hard, sneak in and clean up for them a bit or take the car to the car wash. The list is endless.

Regardless, this is a lifelong endeavor as Mr. and Mrs. Crowley have indicated. Yes, the Law of Attraction helps draw and keep your lover but you have to commit to the daily work as well. I’d love to hear what you do to keep your love alive (or what you’ve witnessed others do?)!

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Many of us have been devastated by a painful divorce. At a certain age, you’ve got about a 50% chance of that being part of your history. I know. I’ve been there. I sat stuck in the mire for awhile (which is a healthy stage) and then I started investigating ways to move on. I found the Law of Attraction during this time and decided that I wanted real, authentic love back in my life. But there are some things you can do to make your transition to your new life easier.

Give yourself time to grieve. Grief has no shelf life but mental health therapists say you can take the time to grieve post trauma or grief will track you down later. Give yourself the time you need to cry, sleep, suffer. This is part of the human condition. Feel free to find a therapist to help you sort through this time and to ensure that you haven’t slipped into a real depression.

Remember it takes two people to cause a marriage to fail. Don’t pull all of the guilt and shame of its demise onto yourself. Realize that just because this (or several) relationships have failed you are not sentenced to a lifetime without love! I’m here to teach you the Law of Attraction tools to reinvent yourself AND to find your real soul mate.

Be sure to focus on the good times you have in the marriage. Its end doesn’t mean those times were false. Celebrate what you had together (perhaps children?).

Plan a private (or public) ceremony of some kind that signifies that this phase of your life is over and you are ready to rise up and conquer! We have ceremonies for so many things, happy and sad, yet no real event accompanies the end of a marriage. Make it positive! While you are rebuilding your life read books like How to Survive the Loss of a Love and Sex and the Universe to help you move forward!

I’ve spoken before about creating a dream board to help you manifest what you want in your life including your soul mate, utilizing the Law of Attraction and my ebook, Sex and the Universe. I found a great video (there are actually several examples on YouTube) of making one and thought you would enjoy!

A vision board is a very powerful thing. Pam, in the video, will talk about just being pulled towards certain images and not knowing why. Perhaps you see a photo of a man in argyle socks and you’ve never really felt anything about argyle socks but this photo does something to you. Cut it out! You are drawn there for a reason. Add powerful phrases and quotes as well. It’s all in the video and definitely worth your time!

Enjoy and let me know what you think below!

Living a life of joyful expectation. Think about that. I found that phrase somewhere years ago and had it pinned up for a really long time. What are you expecting? If I asked you “what do you expect to happen to you today?” would it be good. Are you living in happy anticipation of love, money, health and all your heart desires, knowing it is on it’s way…or are you HOPING it is? The Law of Attraction wants you to be anticipating the best of everything…

Are you expecting it to be hard to find love because you are over 40, divorced and perhaps very afraid? Change your expectations and you will change your results. Are you expecting to be let down or do you wake up in the morning anticipating the miracles the Universe is ready to send your way? Do you track those mini-miracles in your gratitude journal each night. Each little success, each flirtatious moment, the glance from the gentleman at the grocery, the touch of a hand from the girl at the video store…all of these are signs you are putting out the right kind of energy.

I know it worked for me! Find out more in my ebook, Sex and the Universe.

Aha. She’s arrived. You read the book, you consciously utilized the Law of Attraction, you stayed open and positive and allowed her to show up in your life. Now you want to treat her well and help ensure that this relationship lasts. Are there any things you can do?

One of the best books on building and repairing relationships is The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. What makes it better? They studied marriage and committed partnerships for a positive perspective: what long-term happy couples were doing RIGHT. Here’s part of what they found:

• Build your love map. A love map is all the information you store up about your partner: the information about their family, what hurt them as a child, your anniversary, their birthday. These are all various map points and you should know (and try to remember) as many as possible through conversations.
• Nurture your fondness and admiration: Put a positive spin on your marriage’s history: don’t focus on the negative (SOUND FAMILIAR???)
• Turn towards each other instead of away: Create moments of small connections, chit-chat, cook or do the dishes together, read the Sunday paper together
• Let your partner influence you: Consult your partner in decision making, treat them as an ally and, well, partner…
• Solve your solvable problems: 70% of a couple’s major problems are not solvable but do NOT have to end relationships. Solve the solvable ones.
• Overcome gridlock: the gridlock is the 70% above. These problems can’t be solved, will be a source of friction and discord, but you can create a dialogue around them. Help each other attain the dreams that ARE possible!
• Create shared meaning: Create an inner life together, which may be spiritual for some, that includes rituals, creating memories, and developing a marriage “culture”

As you can see, there is some great stuff here. Coupled with my ebook Sex and the Universe, you are well on your way to creating the happy, long-lasting relationship you’ve always dreamt of!