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So you’ve spotted her and you know she’s single! You’ve been reading Sex and the Universe and studying the Laws of Attraction so you know the next part is action and that is up to you! However, creativity wins points and, as long as it’s genuine, can be very effective. Where to start?
1. Use what you know about her to set up the first date. Did she spend a semester studying in Europe (France or Spain) and has mentioned it? Find the most authentic French or Spanish restaurant possible and take her there. Or if she has a favorite author that is speaking nearby, invite her to that. Which leads me to…
2. Use the element of surprise. If you know for sure and you are willing to take the chance, every woman dreams of someone showing up with tickets and inviting them somewhere special.
3. Pick something small. A simple coffee or invite for ice cream the first time can be less intimidating than concert tickets.
4. If you are worried about small talk, a movie and dessert is great (less talk involved the first time and you always have the movie to discuss).
5. However, if you know more about her and are comfortable hanging out and chatting, head to the park, a bookstore or for a nice drive for a picnic (yes, you are in charge of packing it).
6. Use your pets! If you both have dogs, ask her if she wants to walk them or go to the dog park with you.
7. Suggest attending a class or workshop together.
8. Be playful (amusement parks-if you you have the stomach for it-are fun
9. Comedy clubs get you laughing and the adrenaline running. Just be aware of who the comedian is and that they aren’t embarrassingly crude for a first date!
10. Something physical and no, I don’t mean that! Hiking, biking, climbing, or something like windsurfing is exciting.
I came across a Twitter tweet from Sam Crowley that said “Saturday night is always date night for Mr. and Mrs. Crowley. Off to our favorite restaurant.” If you don’t know what a Twitter tweet is, please go here. If you do already, read on! We talk a lot here at our Sex and the Universe blog about finding, but also keeping love and this tweet struck me as both very sweet and very important. When you use the Law of Attraction, or if you already have, to find the love of your life, you must invest an equal amount of time, if not more, in letting your mate know how much you care and how important they are. “Date night”, especially when you have children and busy careers, is one way to really share this message, but what are some others?
One of the first things to go in long-term relationships seems to be common courtesy. It gets awfully easy to be lazy and not treat your loved one as a dear friend, at minimum. I have a friend who says that having her husband bring in a cup of coffee each morning while she is trying to wake up is one of the smallest and yet most important ways that he says “I love you”. It starts her day off feeling cared for! One busy wife always cooks Sunday morning breakfast and she and her husband share it in bed, no kids! They’ve done this since they were first married. Do you still say please and thank you? Do you leave a fresh towel in the bathroom if you’ve used the last one (or another roll of toilet paper)? Do you let your lover sleep in while you let the pets out first thing in the morning? These are all examples of common courtesies that go a very long way towards building a strong and lasting relationship.
Another category is the element of surprise! Are you ever waiting for your honey when they get off of work to surprise them with a dinner out or concert tickets? Are you actively (though not cloyingly) observing the things your partner loves or dreams of? Part of loving someone is trying to help make their dreams come true. What dreams are you helping with? They can be small…if your boyfriend is working really hard, sneak in and clean up for them a bit or take the car to the car wash. The list is endless.
Regardless, this is a lifelong endeavor as Mr. and Mrs. Crowley have indicated. Yes, the Law of Attraction helps draw and keep your lover but you have to commit to the daily work as well. I’d love to hear what you do to keep your love alive (or what you’ve witnessed others do?)!
Need some help? This is a great hypnosis style video for visualizing what you want (a new partner?) to manifest. If you have any suggestions for other videos like this, let me know! And be sure to let me know what you think about the video and if it was helpful to you…
Sure there is a lot of focus on Viagra and Cialis for men and it is true that some men (not me, of course) suffer from some, hmmmm, issues as they get older. But the drugs do tend to work and men AND women over 40 are reporting that their sex lives have actually improved as they’ve aged! A new book by Oprah’s reigning sexologist called Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love and the Sensual Years became a rapid bestseller after the author, Pepper Schwartz, appeared on Oprah with other older women (50’s, 60’s and older) discussing their great sex lives!
A global study of 27.000 men and women ages 40-80 and the results are not surprising to me one bit! Most older adults in good health are having plenty of great sex-73% of those aged 57-64 and 53% of those 65-74! And they are enjoying it more. One of the really profound things that Ms. Schwartz said about dating over 40 is that as you age you start taking rejection less personally and you just move on! She also offer some other tips:
Don’t be afraid of online dating!
Take care of your appearance and keep your mojo up!
Remember to keep your sense of humor up and look for fun and companionship with someone warm and caring. They COULD turn out to be your senior soulmate!
Believe that you are valuable and sexy (can you see Law of Attraction) because you are!
For more fun advice for finding that life partner (or friend with benefits), be sure to check the ebook. Let me know your thoughts and advice on dating over 40 below!
This post is especially for those of you who have been out of the “dating game” for awhile. Maybe you lost a spouse to illness or you went through a painful divorce. Perhaps you spent a long time with someone and they simply broke your heart. You look around and you are quite simply afraid and unsure of how to meet people, how to date, and don’t even mention sex! I know. I’ve been there myself. I met Jillian after a difficult divorce and I did many things wrong before I started doing things right. You have my understanding.
I titled this post “overcoming fear of failure” but I realize that you won’t actually overcome it. You’ll act in spite of it! By following many of the steps in Sex and the Universe, you will gain new confidence as you gain health, get your home in order and learn to trust that the Law of Attraction is bringing you what you focus on. But there is still that moment when you have to make that call.
A few suggestions? Try online dating. The joy of online dating is that you know already that people are looking for the same thing you are. You can see them (though, be warned, photos are often old or doctored so keep personality in mind more than the photos), talk to them in advance and have an understanding about what you are both looking for. Take it casually! Don’t go into every meeting going “is this the one?!?!” Treat it like a party where you are simply mingling and getting to know people. When there is a mutual interest, you will know. Use caution (don’t go to anyone’s house, meet in public places, keep the first meeting short).
Also try meeting people through activities that you already love…whether this is snorkeling or book collecting, dog breeding or gardening. Attending these types of activities is safe because there is a built in topic to discuss. There are also longer trips organized around these types of events so you can really bond with a group. Worst case scenario? You have the chance to meet new friends.
Try to take the pressure off yourself. If you keep working the steps in the book, using visualization, creating a space in your home for your new partner, and learning to love yourself more, the Universe IS cooperating…you may not see it every time you meet someone new. Relax, live life! Your soul mate is on their way!
Hello all! I’ve just created a basic social network to expand our discussion on Sex and the Universe and I hope you will all stop by and share your thoughts, ideas, stories, and questions! I’m also about to launch on Facebook and I’m on Twitter at sextheuniverse (note: sex AND the universe had too many characters to look for it this way). We’re developing a MySpace page, and I’m on FriendFeed at sexandtheuniverse. Please add to the rosters so you can find out about upcoming events, speaking engagements, and stories from our readers!
Thanks to my blog and book readers! I look forward to hearing from you!
Living a life of joyful expectation. Think about that. I found that phrase somewhere years ago and had it pinned up for a really long time. What are you expecting? If I asked you “what do you expect to happen to you today?” would it be good. Are you living in happy anticipation of love, money, health and all your heart desires, knowing it is on it’s way…or are you HOPING it is? The Law of Attraction wants you to be anticipating the best of everything…
Are you expecting it to be hard to find love because you are over 40, divorced and perhaps very afraid? Change your expectations and you will change your results. Are you expecting to be let down or do you wake up in the morning anticipating the miracles the Universe is ready to send your way? Do you track those mini-miracles in your gratitude journal each night. Each little success, each flirtatious moment, the glance from the gentleman at the grocery, the touch of a hand from the girl at the video store…all of these are signs you are putting out the right kind of energy.
Is your heart still pounding when you see your soul mate? Do you still get shivers down your spine when they look at you that special way? Do you still get butterflies thinking about them? Yes? Fantastic. Want to keep those passionate moments going? Read on for hints to keep your romance hot and heavy.
Not sure? “Can’t remember those feelings.” “Seems like a long time ago.” “That was in the beginning.” “It is normal for those feelings to go away.” Are any of these thoughts crossing your mind? If so, you should probably keep reading.
The Law of Attraction can be used to keep the attraction and passion alive and strong in your relationship. In fact, instead of diminishing, the principles of the Law of Attraction can be used to keep those shivers down the spine alive and well. Those concepts that attracted you to each other in the first place, can be utilized to keep the attraction going strong.
* Good vibrations aren’t just the words to a Beach Boys song. We are talking about all those pleasurable sensations that are associated with an enjoyable time in the bedroom. Harnessing all those enjoyable feelings when you are with your soul mate will attract more of those feelings into your life. The more good times that you have, the more good things that will be coming your way.
* Communication is vital in any healthy relationship. Let your partner know what you enjoy and encourage them to share their feelings with you. If something is upsetting it is probably even more important to talk about it, than what rocks your boat. Even your soul mate is not a mind reader.
* Open minded. Being open minded in a relationship with your soul mate is important. You and your partner should be able to feel free to make suggestions to spice things up a little. If the suggestion is not your style, you should be under no pressure to participate. However, instead of replying “not till Hell freezes over” or “over my dead body” perhaps a little more subtlety would be helpful. Instead of a flat “No” what about making a suggestion of your own? This lets your partner know that you are open to ideas, maybe just not some of the more outrageous ones.
It is important to remember that your relationship is a two way street and that you should be both enjoying enjoying yourselves.
* Forgiveness. The Law of Attraction states that forgiveness must be a total experience. It is not just good enough to say “I forgive you” and hold a grudge. You need to empty your heart and your mind of the transgression and move on with your life. Holding grudges only returns negative feelings and thoughts.
Use the principles of the Law of Attraction to keep your romance with your soul mate hot and heavy. The concepts that attracted you to each other initially are the exact same ones that you should use to keep your passion strong.
Likely many of you are familiar with social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook and you may have noticed that these sites are geared more to those college-aged or younger. LinkedIn is another social site but it is geared towards career. Well, there is a new social site called TeeBeeDee that is targeted for those of us over 40! Great idea, especially given this age group is very large. It is NOT a dating site like Match.com but a social networking site to meet friends, discuss topics, and get to know people which is a great tool if you are actively manifesting love in your life.
TeeBeeDee has an attractive interface that is uncluttered. It is easy to set up a profile and to start joining discussions on topics like dating, married life, sex over 40, travel, spirituality, health and many others. They have groups like “The Challenges of Being Single”, “Online Dating”, “Going Back to College”, and “Starting Your Own Business”. There are many options to find people you have things in common with, to locate events, and to expand your social circle.
TeeBeeDee just received a huge investment about 1 year ago and is still growing so its Australia members are limited in number. However, the site is expected to grow exponentially so it is a great place to add your info and start conversations. I’m always on the look out for ways to help you meet your true love! TeeBeeDee looks promising.
You have met your soul mate. Now you live happily ever after. Well, perhaps, but not if you don’t put some energy into your relationship. Many couples assume that it is perfectly natural to eventually become one of those couples that stays in, has pizza, and the most exciting question of the night is which movie to watch on cable. Does this sound like your relationship?
While companionship is a great sign of a healthy relationship, many couples can fall into the trap of becoming a little too complacent. There can be a fine line between a great relationship and a boring relationship. Do you find yourself sitting up in bed working on your laptop or watching reruns on the TV, or are you still swinging from the chandeliers?
While not every couple wants to be performing bedroom aerobics forever, passion and romance are important in any stage of a healthy relationship. Feeling comfortable and at ease with your soul mate is a fantastic feeling. However, couples at this point have to be extremely careful that when they reach this comfort zone they do not stop trying.
Remember all those romantic sweet things you did for each other in the beginning? Why stop? They made you feel good doing them, just as they felt good for your partner receiving them. Gratitude and appreciation are two hugely important factors in a happy partnership. You were grateful when this fantastic person arrived in your life. You appreciated their great qualities. Six months, or a year down the track, that person is still the person that you were so thankful to meet. Keep showing them that.
Those couples who are time or sleep challenged need to take a leaf out of all those celebrity books. Make yourself couple time. If you have to, write it in your diary or Blackberry. Give yourselves a set night of the week just for the two of you. Maybe you just want to go out for a simple meal. Perhaps you want a massage for your sore neck.
As time goes on you will be able to set yourself little rules for your special time. Examples include turning off cell phones and computers, or no TV, or candles only. Whatever works for the pair of you. You will find that you will start to look forward to your romantic time together. Perhaps you can start a mental list of things you would like to do or places you want to go. Before too long you will wonder how you ever got by without your couple time.
You can live happily ever after. It takes work to keep the passion alive in a healthy relationship. Don’t let relationship complacency blow out the sparks of romance with your soul mate. Every couple needs romance, fun and passion to keep a relationship happy and blossoming.
o you’ve spotted her and you know she’s single! You’ve been reading Sex and the Universe and studying the Laws of Attraction so you know the next part is action and that is up to you! However, creativity wins points and, as long as it’s genuine, can be very effective. Where to start?
I came across a 
