sex and the universe

Need some help? This is a great hypnosis style video for visualizing what you want (a new partner?) to manifest. If you have any suggestions for other videos like this, let me know! And be sure to let me know what you think about the video and if it was helpful to you…

This post is especially for those of you who have been out of the “dating game” for awhile. Maybe you lost a spouse to illness or you went through a painful divorce. Perhaps you spent a long time with someone and they simply broke your heart. You look around and you are quite simply afraid and unsure of how to meet people, how to date, and don’t even mention sex! I know. I’ve been there myself. I met Jillian after a difficult divorce and I did many things wrong before I started doing things right. You have my understanding.

I titled this post “overcoming fear of failure” but I realize that you won’t actually overcome it. You’ll act in spite of it! By following many of the steps in Sex and the Universe, you will gain new confidence as you gain health, get your home in order and learn to trust that the Law of Attraction is bringing you what you focus on. But there is still that moment when you have to make that call.

A few suggestions? Try online dating. The joy of online dating is that you know already that people are looking for the same thing you are. You can see them (though, be warned, photos are often old or doctored so keep personality in mind more than the photos), talk to them in advance and have an understanding about what you are both looking for. Take it casually! Don’t go into every meeting going “is this the one?!?!” Treat it like a party where you are simply mingling and getting to know people. When there is a mutual interest, you will know. Use caution (don’t go to anyone’s house, meet in public places, keep the first meeting short).

Also try meeting people through activities that you already love…whether this is snorkeling or book collecting, dog breeding or gardening. Attending these types of activities is safe because there is a built in topic to discuss. There are also longer trips organized around these types of events so you can really bond with a group. Worst case scenario? You have the chance to meet new friends.

Try to take the pressure off yourself. If you keep working the steps in the book, using visualization, creating a space in your home for your new partner, and learning to love yourself more, the Universe IS cooperating…you may not see it every time you meet someone new. Relax, live life! Your soul mate is on their way!

Drinking coffee and listening to music when this tune popped up. The chorus struck me: “To find someone you love, you gotta be someone you love!” How appropriate is that to our ongoing discussion about finding your soul mate. I had to share it! Learning to love yourself is tricky business, but as with all things in the Universe, if we focus our attention on the positive, we attract more good and positive experiences. Don’t you want a partner who feels good about who they are? Why should your partner want anything different?

1. Treat yourself as if you were a good friend. If you are sick, show care. If you are sad, show care. Cheer yourself up the best you can with a good meal, a great movie, a nice walk.
2. Focus on your accomplishments. Make a list of everything good that you have done in your life (this should take time). Maybe write down a few things every day to build up the list that encompasses your life. Remember when you cared for someone or you were praised at work? Write it down.
3. Create a “tickle” file. When someone says something nice about you or you get a nice card from someone, toss it in the file. Reference letters from work, thank you cards, emails, all of this can go in to remind yourself of what a great person you really are!
4. Tell your friends you are trying to love yourself more and ask them to email you what they think you have done for them, what your great qualities are, and why they enjoy your company!
5. Read my ebook, Sex and the Universe, to learn more ways of using the Law of Attraction to increase your self-esteem and self-love!

Hello all! I’ve just created a basic social network to expand our discussion on Sex and the Universe and I hope you will all stop by and share your thoughts, ideas, stories, and questions! I’m also about to launch on Facebook and I’m on Twitter at sextheuniverse (note: sex AND the universe had too many characters to look for it this way). We’re developing a MySpace page, and I’m on FriendFeed at sexandtheuniverse. Please add to the rosters so you can find out about upcoming events, speaking engagements, and stories from our readers!

Thanks to my blog and book readers! I look forward to hearing from you!

Ron

I’ve spoken before about creating a dream board to help you manifest what you want in your life including your soul mate, utilizing the Law of Attraction and my ebook, Sex and the Universe. I found a great video (there are actually several examples on YouTube) of making one and thought you would enjoy!

A vision board is a very powerful thing. Pam, in the video, will talk about just being pulled towards certain images and not knowing why. Perhaps you see a photo of a man in argyle socks and you’ve never really felt anything about argyle socks but this photo does something to you. Cut it out! You are drawn there for a reason. Add powerful phrases and quotes as well. It’s all in the video and definitely worth your time!

Enjoy and let me know what you think below!

An article in the online version of the New Zealand Herald is surely going to stir up some controversy. It is about improving mood disorders and increasing happiness without the use of medication (sounds a bit like the Tom and Brooke incident). I’m not going to debate that topic here! BUT the doctors who wrote the book the article is about do have some great tips on nutrition, relationships, stress and happiness that relate to topics discussed here and in the book. Let’s look at a few:

One of my favourites is to reduce or eliminate text messaging. Ok, I’ll expand this to say reduce technology in general! Obviously don’t eliminate it or you won’t be here or reading my great ebook on finding your soul mate, BUT we spend an inordinate amount of time on the Internet, texting and instant messaging friends, updating Twitter, talking on cell phones and watching TV. It is all very fast paced and stress inducing.

Letting go of materialism and celebrity worship was also suggested, pointing out that comparing ourselves to how others look and what they have leads to decreased happiness and depression. Anything that improves self-esteem (losing weight, new clothes, a new hairstyle…anyone read the Mojo post?) increases happiness.

They spend a great deal of time discussing nutrition as well. They suggest a bowl of porridge at bedtime, but any complex carbohydrate (remember Potatoes, Not Prozac from many years ago?) has been shown to help sleep and mood. Adding omega-3 fatty fish at breakfast (or perhaps a capsule?) and eating seaweed are also suggested.

And, no surprise, they point out that those who invest their time and energy in face-to-face relationships versus online relationships, career or the pursuit of more stuff, are happier.

So, go make a real friend, get your haircut and eat a potato! While you are at it, have a look at the ebook for more ways to build personal happiness and find your soul mate!

We’ve got to keep our energy up when seeking our new life partner! It is our energy that interacts with the Law of Attraction and, as I discuss in Sex and the Universe, you’ve got to continue to improve your health if you want to keep all systems running at peak performance! But, we are all busy and stressed and we mean to get to working on these things… Let’s make it easy. Here are five quick tips to improving your health which don’t require much from you at all.

1. DON’T drink your calories! Most of the liquid that goes in your body should be free, clean water. Not soda, not coffee, not even juice. Fruit is much more beneficial when you eat it than when you drink it. If you must have something besides water, go for very lightly naturally sweetened tea. Artificial sweeteners are questionable regarding disease and can cause a rebound effect on weight, causing you to crave more sweets! So, use real sugar or a natural substitute but use it sparingly. Besides that drink water (and a daily small glass of red wine is good too!).
2. MOVE. Yes, you need 30 minutes of exercise daily but they don’t have to be all at once. If you can get 5 or 10 minutes in throughout the day, the benefits are still there! We’ve discussed sneaking exercise in a previous post. Any exercise added to your daily routine is of benefit so don’t feel like it is “all or nothing”.
3. YOU HAVE TO GIVE THIS UP: forever. Fried foods. Gone forever. Baked potato versus fries. Grilled shrimp versus fried. No more fried food. Period.
4. FRUITS AND VEGGIES. We aren’t kids any more and have no excuse not to eat our fruits and veggies. Six servings at minimum daily! Servings are usually small (1/2 large banana, 1/2 cup of green beans). Add fruit (pineapple)/veggie toppings to your pizza, eat more salsa, toss in a few spinach leaves with your (worthless) iceberg lettuce, chop up some strawberries or add blueberries and add to your yogurt. There are many ways to add in these nutritional power houses! Always remember, the most nutritious fruits and veggies are the most colorful.
5. LIMBER UP. Stretch. Often and high. In the shower, stretch your arms out and press against the wall and drop your head to get a good stretch in your back and shoulders. Stretch big when you wake up and before you go to bed. If you sit a lot throughout the day, put your hands on the back part of your hips and lean backwards (we lean forward too much). When you are watching tv, stretch on the floor on your stomach and just prop up on your elbows (or push up more). This flexes that vulnerable lower back as well.

See? Easy. Try one per week if necessary. Build your energy up! When your soul mate arrives as you’ve asked, you want to be ready!

Is your heart still pounding when you see your soul mate? Do you still get shivers down your spine when they look at you that special way? Do you still get butterflies thinking about them? Yes? Fantastic. Want to keep those passionate moments going? Read on for hints to keep your romance hot and heavy.

Not sure? “Can’t remember those feelings.” “Seems like a long time ago.” “That was in the beginning.” “It is normal for those feelings to go away.” Are any of these thoughts crossing your mind? If so, you should probably keep reading.

The Law of Attraction can be used to keep the attraction and passion alive and strong in your relationship. In fact, instead of diminishing, the principles of the Law of Attraction can be used to keep those shivers down the spine alive and well. Those concepts that attracted you to each other in the first place, can be utilized to keep the attraction going strong.

* Good vibrations aren’t just the words to a Beach Boys song. We are talking about all those pleasurable sensations that are associated with an enjoyable time in the bedroom. Harnessing all those enjoyable feelings when you are with your soul mate will attract more of those feelings into your life. The more good times that you have, the more good things that will be coming your way.

* Communication is vital in any healthy relationship. Let your partner know what you enjoy and encourage them to share their feelings with you. If something is upsetting it is probably even more important to talk about it, than what rocks your boat. Even your soul mate is not a mind reader.

* Open minded. Being open minded in a relationship with your soul mate is important. You and your partner should be able to feel free to make suggestions to spice things up a little. If the suggestion is not your style, you should be under no pressure to participate. However, instead of replying “not till Hell freezes over” or “over my dead body” perhaps a little more subtlety would be helpful. Instead of a flat “No” what about making a suggestion of your own? This lets your partner know that you are open to ideas, maybe just not some of the more outrageous ones.

It is important to remember that your relationship is a two way street and that you should be both enjoying enjoying yourselves.

* Forgiveness. The Law of Attraction states that forgiveness must be a total experience. It is not just good enough to say “I forgive you” and hold a grudge. You need to empty your heart and your mind of the transgression and move on with your life. Holding grudges only returns negative feelings and thoughts.

Use the principles of the Law of Attraction to keep your romance with your soul mate hot and heavy. The concepts that attracted you to each other initially are the exact same ones that you should use to keep your passion strong.

Likely many of you are familiar with social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook and you may have noticed that these sites are geared more to those college-aged or younger. LinkedIn is another social site but it is geared towards career. Well, there is a new social site called TeeBeeDee that is targeted for those of us over 40! Great idea, especially given this age group is very large. It is NOT a dating site like Match.com but a social networking site to meet friends, discuss topics, and get to know people which is a great tool if you are actively manifesting love in your life.

TeeBeeDee has an attractive interface that is uncluttered. It is easy to set up a profile and to start joining discussions on topics like dating, married life, sex over 40, travel, spirituality, health and many others. They have groups like “The Challenges of Being Single”, “Online Dating”, “Going Back to College”, and “Starting Your Own Business”. There are many options to find people you have things in common with, to locate events, and to expand your social circle.

TeeBeeDee just received a huge investment about 1 year ago and is still growing so its Australia members are limited in number. However, the site is expected to grow exponentially so it is a great place to add your info and start conversations. I’m always on the look out for ways to help you meet your true love! TeeBeeDee looks promising.

You have met your soul mate. Now you live happily ever after. Well, perhaps, but not if you don’t put some energy into your relationship. Many couples assume that it is perfectly natural to eventually become one of those couples that stays in, has pizza, and the most exciting question of the night is which movie to watch on cable. Does this sound like your relationship?

While companionship is a great sign of a healthy relationship, many couples can fall into the trap of becoming a little too complacent. There can be a fine line between a great relationship and a boring relationship. Do you find yourself sitting up in bed working on your laptop or watching reruns on the TV, or are you still swinging from the chandeliers?

While not every couple wants to be performing bedroom aerobics forever, passion and romance are important in any stage of a healthy relationship. Feeling comfortable and at ease with your soul mate is a fantastic feeling. However, couples at this point have to be extremely careful that when they reach this comfort zone they do not stop trying.

Remember all those romantic sweet things you did for each other in the beginning? Why stop? They made you feel good doing them, just as they felt good for your partner receiving them. Gratitude and appreciation are two hugely important factors in a happy partnership. You were grateful when this fantastic person arrived in your life. You appreciated their great qualities. Six months, or a year down the track, that person is still the person that you were so thankful to meet. Keep showing them that.

Those couples who are time or sleep challenged need to take a leaf out of all those celebrity books. Make yourself couple time. If you have to, write it in your diary or Blackberry. Give yourselves a set night of the week just for the two of you. Maybe you just want to go out for a simple meal. Perhaps you want a massage for your sore neck.

As time goes on you will be able to set yourself little rules for your special time. Examples include turning off cell phones and computers, or no TV, or candles only. Whatever works for the pair of you. You will find that you will start to look forward to your romantic time together. Perhaps you can start a mental list of things you would like to do or places you want to go. Before too long you will wonder how you ever got by without your couple time.

You can live happily ever after. It takes work to keep the passion alive in a healthy relationship. Don’t let relationship complacency blow out the sparks of romance with your soul mate. Every couple needs romance, fun and passion to keep a relationship happy and blossoming.